Jul 27 2012

Meaningfully Releasing Grief in a Healthy and and Quick Manner

Vol. 73, February 2009- Meaningfully Releasing Grief in a Healthy and Quick Manner

I recently received news that a very dearly loved and respected uncle of mine passed away. In this particular case it was a matter of when, not if, given the man’s age, 94. He was one of those people who had done amazing things all through his life, yet was as humble as anyone could ever be. I will never forget the visit to his home I made with my ex-husband many years ago. As my uncle was showing us around his house, my ex excitedly pointed to a photo that was taken of my uncle and his older son along with President Kennedy. Being a person who lived in the state of Massachusetts all his life, this was an incredible thing to see, because President Kennedy was one of his own on top of being the President of his country. My uncle worked in the State Department of the United States government for many years and was posted in various countries throughout his service so it was not a real surprise that the President of the USA might have had a picture taken with him at some point during his tenure. I will certainly miss never being able to speak with him again, but there is not a loss here that will create any sort of issue for me. Unlike a few of my clients who have had some serious situations occur because of the losses they suffered.

A few years ago I had an 18 year old come to see me. She has having some difficulty with her hockey coach and they were going into their finals of the season. Normally this kid loved her hockey and did very well, but with the negative comments she was receiving from the coach, her desire to play had diminished as did her performance. Interestingly enough, during the first session as I was doing the work regarding the hockey situation, her mother who was invited by her daughter to sit in on the session, wrote a quick note to me asking if I could help her to deal with the loss of four of her close friends within the last few years. I nodded “yes” to her mother later on finding out that one of them used to be on her daughter’s team before her passing. In this particular case I had the young woman work on one loss at a time. While in a trance state, I had her go back to the last time she saw the person alive, and to tell me what went on at that time. Then she was asked to go back to when she heard of their passing and tell me where she was and what she was told by who about that person’s passing. From there she was asked to bring up the wake and just experience what she experienced, the funeral next paying particular attention to what was said in the eulogies and finally the grave site and anything that was said their about the person who passed away. She was then told that the person was always going to be a part of her because of the close relationship that they shared. It took about 15 minutes for us to go through each of the friends she had lost totaling an hour of work. Understand that teens are particularly quick while working with hypnosis, adults may take a longer period to accomplish the same thing. When my client came back for her follow-up a week later she felt very much relieved of her losses. She told me that she felt her hockey friend was with her each time she was on the ice playing. She reported that this felt very comforting to her. About a week after her second appointment I received a clipping from the local newspaper sent by her proud mother reporting that she was one of the star players who won the hockey championship for her school. I want you to notice that the young woman came in for increased hockey performance, and yet the more important work was a secondary issue that came up. This young woman wrote a very moving testimonial which is posted on this website under the name of: Alexandra D. You can find it at the bottom of the Home web page.

I had another client in her 30’s, who was having difficulty sticking to her running schedule to keep her in shape and at the weight she desired. She just didn’t have the motivation she used to and was fairly certain it had to do with the loss of her parents, both passing within months of each other. She had a very good relationship with both of them and had a difficult time moving on. I used a different technique with this woman being that she was older and as such needed to do some deeper work. While she was in a hypnotized state I had her imagine the parent that she wanted to work with first was in a place that was comfortable for them to talk to one another. From there I had her have a conversation with the parent and tell that parent everything that she ever wanted to tell them. She may have already told the parent some of the things, and that was okay. From there the parent was to respond to what she said and that lead to a loving hug. At that point I had her bring in all of the positive attributes of that parent into herself as she was still hugging the parent. When she felt that the process was completed she was to let me know. The last step was to see how the parent was doing on the other side. When this was done, she could see the parent was doing quite well and was there for her. We did the same exact thing for the other parent. With this accomplished the session was finished. She came back for her follow-up and reported that she felt much better and was now able to stick to her running schedule.

There were other clients that I have worked with that had terrible relationships with their parents and never made up with them before they passed. In these circumstances it is even more important to have the healing done in order to release the pain and any negative behaviors that may have been created as a result of that pain. I had one gentleman who was very angry with his father and never had a chance to say “good-bye”. He created all sorts of bad habits as a result. It was most moving when he realized how much he really truly loved his father and just never allowed himself to feel that before. He broke down in to tears of joy when he realized his true feelings. It was as if a whole new person came to life with that understanding. He was able to let go of an alcohol abuse issue and find himself a position that better suited him.

If you are a person who is feeling the loss of someone who was close to you and especially if it is controlling you in some negative fashion, do see a hypnotist to assist you to easily allow the person who was lost, to become an asset in your life. While assisting people in their grieving process I have come to understand that life is so much easier once you learn what you need to from that loss. This is some of the most inspirational work that I do with my clients and is almost always a surprise to them in terms of how they feel after the process is done.

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