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Jun 18 2015

Learnings of Letting Go of Cocaine from Those In “Programs”

Steve Maraboli Forgiveness is a reflection of loving yourself enough to move on Learnings of Letting Go of Cocaine from Those In “Programs” – Vol. 314, June 18, 2015 

Several years ago I received a call from a gentleman who was using Cocaine. At that time, I hadn’t yet learned how to help someone get off the drugs using hypnosis, so I told him that he needed to be clean for at least a month before I would be able to help him stay off the cocaine.

He called me back a couple of years later reminding me of the amount of money that I was asking to do the job of getting him off the cocaine. Sure enough when I looked into my file with all the prospects that had called in, I found the notes that I had taken which agreed with the amount he quoted back to me.

He went on to say that he had just won a Workman”s comp case, so he could pay me cash. This was a good thing, because I knew from the story he originally told me that he had done quite a few break ins to get stuff he could sell for cash, to then purchase his cocaine. He went on to tell me that though he had done time in one state for his B &Es there, he was still wanted in two other states. So, It was a good thing that he could pay me cash to get the job done.

Now, this is the most interesting part of this case history. I was working in Arlington, Massachusetts at the time, where we can have blizzards during the winter. So, happened that when this prospect called to have the work done, it was the middle of February and we had quite a lot of snow coming down the day he was to come for his initial appointment. He had to drive from Cape Cod to Arlington, Massachusetts, north of Boston to see me at my home office there. He did this in the snow, it taking him about 2 hours to get there. I made him call me before he left and he called me a couple of times to let me know where he was on the journey as I requested, just to make sure he was okay.

He did this for two days in a row and managed to stay off he cocaine for at least six months. I knew this because he called me about six months later telling me that he wanted to see me again to help him stop smoking.  He was going to get back to me when he had the cash to pay to have that done. It was a couple of weeks later that I called to see when he thought he would have the cash to do that job when his phone number was non-operational. My best guess is that he was brought in to serve time in one of the two other states that still had a warrant out for his arrest.

There is the other thing I want to convey to you about this particular gentleman; he was indeed a gentleman, who truly wanted the help. Many people ask me how it is that I allow such people into my home and I tell them what I always tell people who ask me this question. If someone is willing to pay you a substantial amount of money out of pocket to get themselves healed, wouldn’t ripping me off be the last thing on their minds?

We need to better understand people and why it is that they do the things they do. Because I was speaking about this case today while I was at the San Pedro Mental Health Center – a community based and city run center for low income people. I was a vendor at the Community Mental Health Fair they put on there, where many young and old people were brought from their addictions programs to learn about the different services that were available to them once they completed their programs and were back in their community.

At one point I had five twenty-something year old young men, all of them with many tattoos on their bodies who had gotten into drug problems standing around me. You see at the fair all the vendors were given these little stamps and all of the people who attended were to get a stamp from each of the vendors to get some sort of gift. Unlike the majority of vendors, I actually was unwilling to stamp anyone’s card without first having a discussion with me to learn a bit more about how their minds operate, from the hypnotic perspective, and then signing my sign-up sheet to get the free stuff I have on my website to them. Some of them will be waiting a couple of months to get their invitation to “opt-in” because they are in programs where no computers are allowed. They signed up anyway, and I just noted on the sign-up sheet when they were being released so I could get the information to them. The main thing though, was that I wanted to help them to better understand why it was that they got into the addictions and then the legal trouble all of these men had, all of them having done time in prison.

It was very rewarding because they did engage with me because I spoke there language, even though I am a small white women, 20-30 years their senior, and these were African American and Hispanic kids with whom I was speaking.

The first question I asked them was, “Why do you think you got addicted to drugs?”

The first answers were superficial such as I enjoy them, they calm me down, etc.

Then I asked them “to go under that reason” and give me the REAL reason that they became addicted to drugs.?

One small guy was real enough with himself to say that he did the drugs because he felt self-hatred, and unworthy of love. I the asked the group what those messages were that they heard in their heads when they weren’t using? And, while four of them denied they had anything going on, that one small guy said that he heard the words “Stupid”, “You’re not anybody, so quit trying,” “Your worthless.” And, then a couple of the other guys agreed that sometimes they had those same sorts of negative commentary going on inside their heads as well.

I explained to them that until they learn how to love themselves and get themselves a “compelling future,” meaning something that they wanted to be doing that was much more important then destroying their lives with drugs, that they most likely will find it near impossible to stay off the drugs, especially if they continue going back to the same people in their environments who they were doing the drugs and/or drinking with.

The most beautiful part of the whole exchange was that these guys thanked me for caring enough to actually get into a conversation with them and to help them better understand themselves, because honestly, most people don’t know why they do those things they do, they just don’t know how to go about stopping them.

A couple of them were interested in staying in touch and I am okay with that, because I know that those who have the where with all to be straight with themselves, and do the healing work as my ex-cocaine client did years ago, they will indeed find themselves some work in the community. They will then go that extra mile to make sure that they get done what needs to get done to regain the lives that they should have had, if they only had it a bit better, easier and more loving from the get go.

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