Adult Content .. (Jul 1, 2012 ) … (Photo credit: marsmet524)
Vol. 192, March 16, 2013
According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network 44% of the victims are under age 18 and 80% are under age 30. Every two minutes someone is sexually assaulted in the United States accounting for 207,754 occurrences. A friend or acquaintance will commit the assault 38% of the time. There really are no statistics on what proportion of these assaults are involving incest.
Unfortunately for many of the woman who come into my practice with addictions and eating disorders, there has been a history of some sort of sexual betrayal by a family member. In most cases it is by their father. In many cases the women feel that their mothers knew what was happening, yet didn’t do anything to stop the unwanted attention. In other cases the women confronted their mothers about the abuse just to be told that they were making it up and then were scolded in some fashion. There are many reasons that this could be the reaction. One could be that the mother feels she has no control of the situation being dependent on her husband for her own survival needs. She may not be in good health, either emotionally or physically and therefore is not in a position to create more problems. Or it may be that the family is well known and respected in the community and unwilling to damage that credibility. Of course this only furthers the damage done to the one who has been victimized. The younger the individual is when the abuse happened the deeper the emotional problems will most likely be. In the case of my eating disorder and drug addict cases, they often wonder why they are even alive.
In the case of the sex addicts who come in to see me, the statistics show that 81% of them have been sexually abused. In my practice I have found that the great majority of these men were sexually abused before they were even old enough to be sexually active themselves.
It is very sad that this is the case knowing the amount of people out there who are holding onto hurt feelings, unable to trust people enough to allow any real sense of being closeness to another to form. This leaves many feeling lonely and in many cases without any relationships of any true meaning even on the basic level of friendship. Being people, we are like ants and bees, social beings that need to interact with others to feel loved, appreciated and secure.
With this in mind I would like you to think about the situation that you are in or were in while younger and if it was a situation where your boundaries were being crossed by a parent. In many cases no sexual intercourse is required for ill feelings to be felt, resulting in the emotional distancing from others to occur. I have had some female clients with whom their parent was just touching their thigh a bit too high for it to feel “innocent.” I have had others where the sex play was something they were involved in and even though they knew it wasn’t okay, went along with it anyway, now feeling very guilty about the whole situation.
If you are under age, it becomes a difficult situation. However, if you go to a counselor by law they will have to report it. IF you are an older person, do what you can to get out of the situation. The person who is involved has no understanding of the damage that is being done to you, and worse probably is incapable of caring enough to change.
Once you are out of the situation, do yourself a favor and get some help. The best help is where you can be desensitized from the ill effects of this terrible injustice that has been done to you. On top of that there needs to be a sense of forgiveness for the acts done against you by any and all who were involved. The reason for this is because the anger that you are holding is only damaging you at this point. It is much better to realize that the person(s) involved were sick in their own right and deal with it from that point of view. I know this can be a hard one to take, and yet, I have had many clients come in to my practice who have been able to better understand that it was what it was and to let it go. In this way the past no longer is interfering with the clients’ present or future. Life is so much better when one is able to do that. Just make sure that you work with a practitioner who is sensitive to your need to heal without the need to blame anyone for the situation. Blaming is inflaming, and never healing regardless of the situation at hand.
Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?
Do you suspect that either you or a loved one might have a Sex or Porn Addiction? Find out for sure as well as the best ways to treat Sex and Porn Addiction in "Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?", currently available from the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Store
Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?
About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.