How To Deal With Normal Emotional Issues In Your Life – Vol. 365, June 9, 2016
Over the years I have written many weblogs on the various mental health issues that arise in life. Some of them can be very serious like depression, eating disorders, and addictions. Others confound people in the symptoms of not being able to do much to move their lives forward – maybe not deadly, though deadening to the soul such as grieving losses, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorders.
In this weblog I would like to give you a different angle on all of this to separate the truly dysfunctional from normal feelings that people have during the course of life. Because this is the thing: all humans have feelings and some of those feelings don’t feel very good. However, they aren’t going to damage you so long as you take proactive steps to handle them. So here we go:
The first thing that I would like you to realize is that there is a great difference between someone who is unable to function due to depressed feelings, from that of a person who has lost someone close to them or perhaps a beloved pet. If you have lost someone close to you, it is normal to feel sadness and to feel a bit dissociated from “reality” as you may be in a bit of shock. Allow yourself to feel those feelings, to acknowledge the loss in your life, feeling the feelings that come up. It is the best way for you to deal with this situation. I would also suggest that you get quiet and get in touch with all the great things that you learned from having this person or pet in your life. Bring them into your heart and be clear that they will always live there with you. This doesn’t mean that you won’t miss them. Rather, you will change that feeling of missing them from your life, to an appreciation of what you learned from them and how they helped to improve your life for having been a part of it.
Anxiety is one of those feelings that can get very debilitating if allowed. Remember that anxiety comes from something that hasn’t even happened yet, something that may or may not happen in the future. So, the first thing you need to recognize is that the anxiety isn’t about anything that is real. Second, anxiety and excitement feel very similar. So, I would suggest that you find something about the anxious feelings that you are feeling and turn them into excitement. For example:
If you have a presentation that you need to give and you’re anxious about it, think of the purpose behind giving the presentation. What do you want the outcome to be from giving the presentation? If it is a grade in school, make sure that you are doing the presentation on something that you care about and are excited about. That way when you get up to give your presentation, you will be excited about the subject matter.
If you are going to give a presentation to educate a group about your product or service, find an interesting angle to teach about your offering. Answer the questions that your customers have for you, because that will allow your subject to have more intrigue then just doing a straight presentation of facts and figures.
Second, realize that the presentation is only going to take a limited amount of time so will be over quickly enough. Have fun with the audience and know that they want you to succeed because it makes the experience better for them. Before giving the presentation, take some deep breaths to help relax you and then get into your presentation. A few moments into your presentation the nerves will leave and you may very well find yourself having fun. At that point you will find that your worries were most likely for naught.
If you are anxious about a situation that is coming up that is feeling particularly difficult, make sure that you have done what you need to do to be ready for the situation at hand. Preparation is the best way to handle these things.
If you are anxious because of a medical appointment be ready with your questions and get a second opinion. I have heard of many people who were told to have operations that were not necessary mainly for knees, hips and torn rotator cuffs, when physical therapy and a better diet did the trick.
Many people feel that they may have obsessive compulsive disorder. Again, unless checking behavior or compulsive behavior is making you late to school or work for example, you don’t have an issue that needs to be dealt with through psychiatric means. There is nothing exceptional about checking that the stove is off a couple of times or that the door is locked on your way out.
So, do yourself a favor and stop overusing psychiatric terms that don’t apply to you.
Give yourself a means to contend with the normal feelings that arise knowing that you have what you need inside you to deal with it.
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