Apr 21 2014

Bullying: Charlie Sheen and Lady Gaga – Two Sides of the Issue -Vol. 106, July 7, 2011

In a previous newsletter we spoke of Charlie Sheen losing everything as a result of his erratic behavior. However, we did not report that in People Magazine, of March 2, 2011, that his ex, Brooke Mueller had won a restraining order in the Los Angeles Superior Court alleging that she had been a victim of his physical and verbal abuse. She was in great fear of his attacking her and fearful of the children’s safety while they were in Sheen’s care.

Lady Gaga emotionally spoke during her latest tour of the bullying that she suffered as a teen with buck teeth. She told of how her head was forced into a toilet and the emotional damage that she still feels as a result of that incident. She is fighting bullying by donating the money she earns from the country version of her song “Born This Way” to the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), which helps teens deal with bullying at school.

How big a problem is this? It is a very large problem based on the Bureau of Justice statistics. 87% of shootings are retaliation against the person who hurt the victim of bullying. 54% of bullying happened as a result of witnessing bullying at home.

Sixth through tenth graders have been bullies, victims or both. Of the 77% that were bullied 14% said they were harmed by it. Annually 282,000 students are physically abused in school with 43% fearful of being bullied in the bathroom. Each day fear of being bullied will keep 160,000 students home. The most scary statistic is that 100,000 students carry a gun to school.

The suicide of Phoebe Prince here in Massachusetts occurred after months of being bullied with a total of nine teens being arrested in that case for physical harm including raping her.

One needs to also think about the area of cyber bullying too. According to Elisabeth Englander, a psychologist who specializes in this field, kids need to learn how to interact through digital media, because one does not receive the immediate communication of the injury as a result of one’s action through the internet. In other words the students cannot see the faces of hurt that they are creating, so they are unaware of how these senseless statements against someone who they may think of as a friend may hurt. The statistics on cyber bullying are very close to those of in person bullying.

Charlie Sheen’s twins could very well become the bullies of tomorrow given the alleged behavior of their father. Those who are bullied many times will become the bully and worse, killers for the inability to deal with the pain that they have suffered.

What can we do about this situation? Suspending a child from school is not going to take care of the cause of the problem. One needs to treat the emotional issues that are underlying the actions that are being taken. I would say that in most cases we are dealing with very angry kids who need to have their anger released. Until done there is not going to be a change in their behavior. Likewise for those who have been bullied their hurt feelings along with the events of bullying need to be dealt with or these feelings will persist for the rest of their lives as we see in the case of Lady Gaga who is still feeling the pain of the abuse that happened to her all those years ago.

With teens being in a natural state of trance, hypnosis becomes an efficient manner of treatment, without the need for any drugs or long-term therapy. I have worked with several kids that were able to release their anger and feelings of hurt in similar cases in a matter of two sessions, able to easily move on with their lives being the happy and productive kids that they would normally be. Of course if there are family issues that are concerned the treatment would be a bit more lengthy, yet, it still can be accomplished freeing these kids from the harmful emotions that were previously stuck inside them.

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