Nov 02 2017

Anger At What Price?

Anger photo

Anger At What Price? – Vol. 426, Nov. 2, 2017

During my neuro-linguistic training, I learned of the fact that anger can create heart attacks. Well, I came across an article in Science Daily called: Keep Calm, Anger Can Trigger a Heart Attack. The University of Sydney found that there is an 8.5 times higher risk of a heart attack in the two hours that follow a burst of intense anger. If anxiety was involved, there was a 9.5 fold increased risk in a heart attack happening in the two hours after the anxiety attack. The results were based on anger being at the level of one being so angry their fist or teeth were clenched, and were ready to burst, up to one who is out of control and throwing objects.

There are many things that one can do to alleviate the anger. The first thing on the list as far as I am concerned is stress release. Self-hypnosis or meditation would certainly help anyone to relax. One who is relaxed, by definition cannot be tense.

The second thing that I would suggest is forgiveness. There are so many people that hold onto resentments that end up hurting themselves more than the person with whom they are angry. I always ask my clients if they really believe that this old resentment is something that the person they are still holding anger toward is being hurt as much as they are? Invariably the answer is “no.” Now, I don’t mean to forget that negative behavior that brought on your anger toward this person, because you really don’t want to be hurt again. However, to forgive the other person is to allow yourself to let go of the anger associated with the past events.

One may ask how that is done. Well, the easiest way that I have found to do this is to understand why it is that the person was acting in the manner in which they do. Many times it has to do with that person having their own issues and then taking them out on you. The reality is that we can only control ourselves, and our own choices, while the other person’s behavior is out of our ability to change.

I do suggest to my clients that they have a conversation with the person with whom they are angry to see if they can heal the emotions. Sometimes this will ease the anger and even build the relationship into one that was stronger than before. However, this is not always possible to do. You will know if it is possible if moving further into time the behavior is changed so as to no longer trigger your anger. How do you have this conversation? You meet the person in a public place and let them know that you have something that you would like to discuss with them. At the meeting, you let them know that they may not be aware of the fact, but during the event, you felt angry as a result of whatever the action was that they did. You can then tell them that it would be so much easier for you if in the future they could handle it in a different manner and then tell them what would have worked better for you. Many times having this sort of conversation will really clear the air, and that person will no longer act in such a manner as to cause the negative feelings. If after having this conversation the behavior is not changed, you may just find it easier to move onto healthier relationships. Anger, as you can see through this study, an indeed have very large ramifications to your health, so dealing with it as soon as possible is the best way to discharge negative emotions, allowing you to keep your health and your calm.

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