Vol. 41, September 2006
Recently I had a gentleman call to for smoking cessation. However, that was not the only reason he was calling. He knew that he had some larger issues that were keeping him from living a happy and fulfilled life. He was under employed doing work that he found boring yet had no idea what else he could do with himself. Further though by looking at him you could never tell, he was gay and realized it while he was a young teen. Most of his young life he did what he needed to in order to keep the secret from his family. He is a very attractive young man with a body that is in good shape muscularly built in proportion to his size.
Before I handled the smoking cessation with him, for he was only able to afford this part of the work at this time, I realized that in order for him to be successful we were going to have to do some forgiveness work around his parents. In his case he always felt that his brothers received more time and financial resources from his parents, though his parents did not agree with him on this point. He also found his mother to be insensitive to his needs. His father wanted the best for him, but was critical and difficult to be around at times. His father has since passed away, but his mother is still alive.
An interesting shift happened as we did the forgiveness work. He realized that his father really was present for him creating a bond between the two of them. While we did the forgiveness work around his mother he broke down in tears as he realized that his mother was indeed his favorite person on the planet for she always did without in order to give the family what it needed. He also realized that neither of his parents cared that he was gay, both accepting him as is.
After he came out of the hypnotic state he told me that he did tell his parents separately that he was gay and that it was in fact true that neither of them thought any less of him because of it. It is in fact he that has the problem with how he is different and that is what needs to be addressed. For no matter how worried you are about how others will deal with your differences, it is you who needs to accept you for who you are in order to be content, prosperous and joyful in your life.
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